


Everybody Walks Away

by SmolSpideyBoi



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic Avengers, M/M, Stony - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2020-06-26 03:36:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19759780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmolSpideyBoi/pseuds/SmolSpideyBoi
Summary: Lips pressed close to mine, true blues.But the prince of any failing empire knows that everybody walks (away)And in this case, he walked away from me, and I understand why he did. I don't deserve love, and especially not from Steve, but it still hurts, it still makes the lonely nights longer, and it's weird, but the fact that I miss him so fucking much, shows that I'm supposed to love him, but no one ever said that he's supposed to love me.It's funny how it works that way.





	1. Lovely to be Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Stony fic (and my first fic on here) I'm cross-posting on Wattpad so find me here https://www.wattpad.com/user/smolspideyboi

Isn't it lovely, to be alone? Heart made out of glass, my mind a stone. Tear me to pieces, skin, and bone. Hello, welcome home.

His life was like a set of domino's, Tony decided. One thing led to another, and before he knew it, everything had collapsed, turning a once beautiful design into a jumbled broken pile of blocks. Kinda like my life, he thought sarcastically, taking a swig out of the brandy bottle. Life's a bitch, and I can't wait for it to be over. Tony's thoughts slurred together until he was drifting into the memories of Steve's arms wrapped around him, chasing the nightmares and demons of his mind away.

Tony sobbed and curled farther into Steves' arms. Steve soothingly ran his fingers through Tony's hair and hugged him "Tony, Tones, Sweetheart, it's just a dream, it's not real sugar, it can't hurt you." Tony sobbed harder into Steve's shoulder "I k-know" He sniffled "They were hurting you an and y you s-said it was all my fault.." Tony trailed off, eyes blank and glassy.

Steve gently lifted his chin and kissed him "Hey Doll, please listen to me, I would never say that. I promise you with all of my heart that I wouldn't". Nightmares were nothing new to Tony, or Steve for the matter so when he felt his sweetheart shaking and heard him calling out for Steve, the supersoldier swept him into his arms and ran his fingers through Tony's messy, sweat-soaked curls. What he wasn't expecting was Tony's nightmare was about him being hurt and blaming Tony for it.


	2. Goner (or a man of iron has no living, beating heart)

The ghost of you is close to me, I'm inside out, you're underneath.

There is only so much liquor can do to numb the pain. Most of the time of them being together, Tony didn't drink. Steve hated the way Tony drank himself into oblivion, all to numb himself, and to chase away his demons. Steve made it his job to take care of Tony, and to let him know that he was loved. But without Steve here, Tony was in an abyss of alcoholism, hatred, pain, and despair.

When Steve first left him, Tony threw himself into his work. More suits, more training, more missions. He took every mission thrown his way and lived in it, he hoped that if showed Steve he was worthy, he was a hero, that he was untouchable, Steve would take him back. It never happened.

Flashback to eight months ago   
"Sir?" FRIDAYS voice rang through the room "Director Fury is on the line for you." Tony gulped the last of his scotch, and slightly slurred "Put him on." Fury's face soon filled the screen "Stark," Fury stated "I have a mission for you if you choose to accept it. The mission is very dangerous, and the percentage of possible death calculated is 70% we-" "I accept," Tony interrupted "What?" Fury asked, "I haven't even given you all the details yet!" "I accept," Tony stated in an emotionless monotone. Fury seemed to be debating behind his poker face. "Alright, I will have Agents Romanoff, Barton and Rogers debrief you on it." Tony's back stiffened at the mention of Steve. "Sir," he stuttered "there is no need for so many agents for a simple debriefing, at the most, only two shall be needed."

Fury's face didn't change from the emotionless mask, but there was a glint to his eyes. "You make a point there Stark, so I'll just send Barton and Romanoff." Tony's posture relaxed, and released a breath he didn't even know that he was holding in.   
And when he returned nearly six months later, with a fractured skull, seven broken ribs, a broken arm, cuts, bruises and severely malnourished, all of which are evident signs of torture, Steve was gone, disappearing the day that he got word from Nick that Tony was captured by HYDRA, and there was no conceivable outcome of him making it out of there alive. But Tony didn't know that. He believed that Steve had well and truly left him behind. Steve had left him alone.

So eight months later when he was slowly killing himself with alcohol and drugs in an empty room in an even emptier house, he would have never believed that it was Steve who knocked on his door.


	3. An empty castle, full of emptier rooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's kind of a song chapter (the song below is ilo milo by Billie Eilish)

Anthony Edward Stark had fucked up royally and he knew it. He had really screwed the pooch this time.   
(Sixteen hours earlier)  
He was drunk again, and to be honest when wasn't he? That night was especially bad for him. He had woken up with a grey cloud over him, and he hadn't realized why until he looked at the small hologram depicting today's date, and any reminders he had set. It was, or it would have been his and Steve's 3 year anniversary.  
All it took was that to make him so depressed that JARVIS would commence protocol ' AWOL'. ' AWOL' was a protocol that Steve and the rest of the Avengers had set up (without Tony's knowledge or permission) to send a live feed directly to any technology on them, might it be a phone, a tv, a car, or even a hologram projector. When Steve left Tony, he'd forgot to remove himself from the list.   
What every single one of them saw was Tony, fingers trembling, clutching a picture of him and Steve, that Natasha had taken, with a bottle of dark liquor near him. They all saw Tony clutch the picture, and with a sob, violently throw it at the wall. Tony, with tears coursing down his face, started getting up and walking towards the piano in the corner of the room. What they didn't expect to see was Tony, fingers trembling, abandon the bottle of liquor and start playing the piano. His lips parted and softly, oh so softly, he started singing

Told you not to worry  
But maybe that's a lie  
Honey, what's your hurry?  
Won't you stay inside?  
Remember not to get too close to stars  
They're never gonna give you love like ours

His voice trailed off, and he paused before the next part 

Where did you go?  
I should know, but it's cold  
And I don't wanna be lonely  
So show me the way home  
I can't lose another life  
Hurry, I'm worried

They could feel the raw sadness in his voice, they could feel his pain in every echoing word.  
Steve's breath caught in his throat.

The world's a little blurry  
Or maybe it's my eyes  
The friends I've had to bury  
They keep me up at night  
Said I couldn't love someone  
'Cause I might break  
If you're gonna die, not by mistake

Tony's voice broke on the last line, and a few tears tracked down his already damp cheeks. He started singing again, his voice harsh with hatred, but the hatred wasn't for Steve, the hatred was for himself.

So, where did you go?  
I should know, but it's cold  
And I don't wanna be lonely  
So tell me you'll come home  
Even if it's just a lie

I tried not to upset you  
Let you rescue me the day I met you  
I just wanted to protect you  
But now I'll never get to

Hurry, I'm worried

Where did you go?  
I should know, but it's cold  
And I don't wanna be lonely  
Was hoping you'd come home  
I don't care if it's a lie

By the end of the song, all of the former Avengers eyes, except one, were glossy with unshed tears. One former Avenger, formally Captain America, informally Steve Rogers, had tears openly coursing down his face. Tonys' voice shook as he uttered the last sentence,

Hurry I'm worried

And he seemed to break into a thousand pieces. 

And so did Steves' heart. It pulsed in his chest, the jagged edges of past memories tearing him open, leaving a bleeding, raw wound. He reached out and stroked Tony's face, or at least he tried to, momentarily forgetting it was just his face on a screen. 

And even though they were in the same country, never had they felt so far apart. Like they were separated by worlds. Like they were galaxies apart. Like an infinite sea separated them.


	4. Not an update

This is not an update, kinda the opposite of it really. In the past few months, my writing style has changed quite a bit. I will be editing and re-writing these chapter in hope of making this story such better.


End file.
